Aug. 31, 1950: Female, married, 42 years. Rather stout, tall, dark complexion, full lips.
Never had enough energy to do nearly what should do, always forcing herself along. A nervous exhaustion. Muscles feel flabby, weak.
Tension, hurry, driving to get this and that done; in a fret. Too tense to get to sleep.
Depressed, melancholy, very irritable in spells; discouraged; thoughts of suicide but too timid to carry it out. Disgusted with herself because timid. Desire to weep frequently. Perverse sense of humor.
Almost double personality; real self kind, generous, affectionate, etc., then suddenly overpowering desire to torture people; if does not do it as if something would burst inside, or would go insane. Picks upon those nearest to her, those loved best and torments them with sarcasm, taunts.
Uncertain of her ability, tormented by this.
Likes people but gets bored; wants to be at home, quiet; wants people around her to be quiet.
Lacks sexual desire, always.
Smothered sensation frequently.
Constipation chronic (cathartics). Haemorrhoids.
Hair falling many years: 1/3 of it coming in white.
Sleep very poor; frequent insomnia.
Headache; frequent, general bruised sensation followed by migraine. Worse emotions, menses.
Stinging, stiffness shoulders, fingers; mammae.
Pain below right ribs between them and crest ilium.
Pains down legs, worse under the knees.
Soreness abdomen frequent accompanied violent cramps, just above pubic bone.
Operation at 23 years for cancer cervix; followed by treatments with radium, x-ray.
Pregnant once; lost at 7 months on account fight with a huge dog.
In the last 15 years thought of suicide but too timid to carry it out. R Anac. 10M.
Sept. 19: Stopped thyroid along with the estrogen when started my medicine. Has lost a pound a day since then; this before on stopping thyroid temporarily. Now 28 lbs. overweight-159. Scattered pustules in scalp in the last 2 months. Pains backs of legs gone; now some in front. Perspiration does not start until temperature extremely high; then on scalp first, runs down face and neck; later becomes general. Skin not too dry. Constipation returned after stopping eating molasses. Sleep: good first pat night, then apt not to sleep rest of night. Mind too active then; planning, studying over things. Worse A.M., taken 2 or 3 hours to get going.
Oct. 4: Back to work 2 day about but dislikes to work, cannot stand it; gets so nervously overwrought that wants to cry and nerves seem to ache all over her. Enjoyed working up to a year ago. Cannot sleep or eat much on account nerves. Rx.Zinc. 1M.
Oct. 16: Much better, back to work and able to stand up under it. Several hours overwork; all one evening and all day Sunday. In the last 10 days: dyspnoea prominent in spells. Numbness left arm and chest; feels numb into the bone. Legs numb on lying down. Heavy pressure cardiac region. Sleeping all night. Drowsiness ever since returned to work.
Oct. 26: Very much better still. Mental and emotional attitude very much better. Sleep poor 3 night in the last 2 weeks. Pains legs from 4 P.M. on; has had these before. Dyspnoea on walking lately. Pressure on chest with this, a little numbness. Slowly gaining weight every day. Exhausted by the shock of some news at the office; was calm butt weak. Usually this would have thrown her into panic. Appetite tremendous now and gaining weight. Craves sweets, this not for several years back. No more thoughts of suicide by drowning. Numbness fingers, arms at times. Ankles swell mildly. Perspiration palms returned. Bones have felt firm on surface and soft underneath; now the reverse.
Now. 24: Courage has been piling up steadily; almost no effects on the past state. Sleep better at night if takes her powder in A.M. Memory still bad, may be a little better. Cannot eat as much as used to; feels satisfied sooner. Severe head cold last 10 days, better and worse with diarrhoea finally and then at least a cupful of brown mucus vomited with great help. Physically stronger.
Dec. 18: Getting along very well. Once cold which lasted only 2 days and worked through it. Usually has been on couch for 10 days with one.
Jan. 4, 1951: Still very much better; gained 3 more lbs. Giving out as if would collapse after powders gone, better soon as back on the next collection of them. Head confused and memory bad soon as powders gone, better soon as back on them.
Jan. 23: No sleep two nights out of the week. After a bad night a clutching about the heart and feels smothered. Mind willing but body will not respond. Heavy all the time from waist down. Swelling hands and feet; rings cut into the fingers. Must take shoes off in P.M. on account of the swelling and consequent pain. Urine too frequent, deep yellow with pungent odor, excoriating. Profuse sweats any time, especially in the night. Skin dry and itching between these sweats. Waves of nausea last few days. Cramps in abdomen; constipation continues. Dyspnoea; frequent sighing. Gaining weight again slowly. Mental improvement holds Rx. Zinc. 1 M.
Feb. 10: Sleep better on the last remedy; other symptoms same or worse. Stomach symptoms: ravenously hungry but if eats, hard pains stomach region for hours as if cramps, grindings, hard surface turning over and over, etc. If does not eat pangs of hunger great. Pains right side abdomen continue severe in spells. Gained 23 lbs. in the last year, 10 of them since November. Exhaustion great after normal day of work; can hardly get home. Constipation bad as ever; small hard bits once in 3 days. Takes colonic every month. Mother gave her castor oil when little. Cold weather very hard on her; aches all over if chilled. In youth one cold after another; catarrhal symptoms ever since. Scarlet fever severe at 7 years; delirious for 2 weeks. Deaf for 3 months. Eyes grown increasingly worse since childhood. Scarlatinum 1 M.
Feb. 26: Always very irritable, unreasonable, weary, full of symptoms for 3 days before the full of the moon. Feels as if brittle and about to break to pieces. Had vaccination at 6 years which almost caused amputation of the arm from infection all through it. Gained 4 more able. in a week and much concerned; feels water-logged. Urine and perspiration quite scanty. Liver starting to play tricks again. Could not go to work today. Rx. Thuj. 1 M.
Mar. 16: Better in general. Not gaining weight, remains at 165. Kidney better. liver condition same although soreness gone. Craves sweets. After last medicine total collapse, in bed all day, then gradually better from then on. Still tired although does not get the sleep she should. Memory worse; reasoning dull, confused. When asked at office for something, mind a blank. Swelling hands and feet better although seem worse after eating anything with beet or cane sugar in it. Natural sweets do not affect.
Mar. 30: Symptoms same as before.
Apr. 12: Much better in many ways. Sleep much better. Dyspnoea worse; cannot walk far without it. Legs and feet turn blue on walking any distance even very slowly; hands blue. Must stay still and rest quite a while to recover. Pains legs gone. Weight the same. Swelling limbs less.
May 8: Looking very much better; weight the same. Sleepiness all day a great trial lately and languor back again. Good at night. Great hunger gone. Swelling legs less. Urine not so frequent and more satisfactory in quantity. No more wildness when moon gets high. Dyspnoea better, not gone. Rx Thuj. 1 M.
May 15: Medicine took hold wonderfully; felt better than for very long time, even before present collection of symptoms started. Yesterday began one of her worst attacks abdomen pain, almost bent her double. Sharp cutting in groups followed by slower deep agonizing ache. Parts affected tender to touch. Great distension with gas which moves about and cuts. Extending to back but not bad there. Nausea in waves with the pain. Puts head down on my desk and then some weeping. Rx Puls. 2c, I powder dry. Repeated in 5 minutes.
June 25: Well but physically tired. Dull pain around heart, must take long slow breaths. Worse hot weather; also smothering sensation. Sleep poor; drowsy all day. Either to sleep early and awake after 2 hours for rest of night or awake until 3 or 4 and then only a couple of hours. Constipation worse. Hangnails, peeling places on hands. More endurance than is usual.
June 28: About ready to fold up. Needs the medicine. Ravenously hungry, wants to eat anything within sight.
July 16: 3 days after the last report began to improve rapidly. Stayed better until the last few days. Now very listless again; sleepy all day, hard to concentrate. Numbness arms and hands today. Headache or rather pressure; head felt water-logged; also pressure in chest and around neck is if water in the tissues. Appetite nearly gone. Depression returning, as if something dreadful about to happen. Rx Thuj. 10 M.
Aug: 24: Feeling all out of balance and attributes it to thyroid unbalance. Gaining weight again rapidly; feeling water-logged again. Tired, weak, concentration poor. Depression returning.
Sept. 14; Still very tired all the time, can hardly get work done, looks tired and weak. Metabolism test show -19. Can tolerate 1/2 gr. thyroid a day.
