LITTLE JOKES ON THE SURGEON


This education must contain a knowledge of the true philosophy of sickness, and also of the nature of the curing agents, and of the rules for the use of these for the solution of clinical problems. A medical education in this sense is an education which enables one, before a case of sickness, to put his hand on the specific agent which will cure it.


[Read before the I.H.A., Bureau of Surgery, June 9-11, 1932.].

While training for, and hoping to be, a surgeon, I fell from grace, and my surgical experience became, as a consequence, badly neglected. Therefore, when your chairman asked me to write a paper for this bureau, I hardly knew what to say. But a reminiscence of some few cases may be of some value to you in showing wherein, in some cases, the indicated remedy either succeeded where surgery failed, or cheated the surgeon out of a nice fat fee by the forelasting of an operation.

CASE I.

Mr. B., machinist, age 55, developed an abscess in the palm of the left hand. He was turned over, by his company, to their surgeon, who, it appears, was a free incisionist, in the case of an abscess at least. He made a deep incision clear across the palm of the hand, severing all the ligaments. He later found himself unable to heal the wound. All the contractor muscles had suppurated out, leaving the hand perfectly useless. The hand was later condemned to amputation. It was at this stage that the patient was turned over to me. A pair of extremely offensive feet led to the study of Silicia. It fitted his constitution exactly. Under Sil, the wound healed promptly, but no remedy could restore the lost ligaments. This case needed no operation in the first place. In the next place it was a bungling piece of surgery and as fine a piece of malpractice as one could wish to see.

CASE II.

Mrs. M., age 35, light complexioned, short, heavy set, came to me in great distress. Her allopathic doctor had just informed her that she had a case of pyosalphinx, that her tubes were all decayed, if not partly gone, that an abscess had already formed, that cancer might result, and finally, that an operation was her only hope. The lady balked at the operation and at the request of a friend came to consult me. In the affected region she had all the pains of congestion and suppuration, could bear neither touch nor pressure of the clothing, was especially sensitive to touch and pressure about the throat, hot drinks caused suffocation, she was worse on entering sleep, but decidedly so on waking, and her menses had shut down. Lachesis stood out all over the poor woman. A single dose of the 1M was followed by a discharge of pus through the vagina, a little later a good healthy menstrual flow with complete relief of both mental and physical symptoms. To date, at least, another operation has been indefinitely postponed.

CASE III.

Mrs. D., age 45, dark complexioned, well built, developed a fissure at the anal orifice, complicated with indigestion. She was sent from pillar to post, x-rayed, blood tested, meal tested, etc., and each time positively assured that nothing but an operation could bring her the least relief. She was mortally afraid of cancer. The burning pain at the fissure and the incarcerated gas nearly drove her wild. From the work we had done for her mother-in-law and her sister-in-law, she decided to consult me. While I assured her that she had no cancer, she departed dissatisfied. After about three weeks she returned, put herself under my care, and decided to give me a trial. The extremely red orifices, the burning soles at night in bed, the faint, hungry, gone sense at the stomach at 11 a.m. relieved by eating a little, etc., led me to study Sulphur, which brought prompt and lasting relief. And thus the surgeon was deprived of a nice fat fee.

CASE IV.

Mr. N., age 35, developed a syphilitic ulcer on the cornea of the right eye. This ulcer spread rapidly and threatened to completely destroy the eye. His allopathic eye specialist failed to halt its progress and advised its complete removal in order to save the other eye. At this juncture he was turned over to me. The rapid spread of the ulcer, the nightly burning pain, etc., pointed so strongly to Mercurius corrosivus, which was found to cover all his symptoms, that it was given, with the result that the eye was completely cured, and thus the oculist was cheated out of a nice fat fee.

CASE V.

Mr. R., age 60, prominent railroad official, had submitted to a radical operation for piles, which gave him a wonderful relief for about six months, after which he developed a very annoying condition in the throat. Being a man of ample means he consulted several throat specialists in New York City, then in Europe, but in vain. A friend of his, in Cleveland, sent him to me. He demurred at first because of an arrangement for an operation on his throat. After thinking the matter over carefully, he decided to come. His throat looked exactly as his anus had looked. The characteristic lumbo-sacral backache, the excessive dryness, burning and itching of the throat, the purple color of the enlarged veins, and the sense of little sticks on swallowing enabled me to tell him that the cure would be easy.

Alfred Pulford
Alfred Pulford, M.D., M.H.S., F.A.C.T.S. 1863-1948 – American Homeopath and author who carried out provings of new remedies. Author of Key to the Homeopathic Materia Medica, Repertoroy of the Symptoms of Rheumatism, Sciatica etc., Homeopathic Materia Medica of Graphic Drug Pictures.