VITAMIN VERSES OR, LINES TO A LIVER


When I talk of combinations I do not mean shirt and drawers, But I do refer to proteins, vitamins, And hygienic laws. When ordering the days supply, Do not forget the beans, No port, no veal, no eggs, no breads, But only food one chews to shreds, Chuck full of vitamins. You must omit all things you like, And watch while others eat, And gaze with round and hollow eyes On delicacies you most prize, And never, never peep.


When I talk of combinations

I do not mean shirt and drawers,

But I do refer to proteins, vitamins,

And hygienic laws.

When ordering the days supply,

Do not forget the beans,

No port, no veal, no eggs, no breads,

But only food one chews to shreds,

Chuck full of vitamins.

You must omit all things you like,

And watch while others eat,

And gaze with round and hollow eyes

On delicacies you most prize,

And never, never peep.

And every little while, you may,

If all goes smooth and well,

Allow yourself a tiny sip

Of coffee-just one little nip,

But careful how you say aloud,

“My liver, go to hell!”.

Ice cream and cake

You must abjure

And all the luscious sweets,

Until a time, when you can say,

“My liver now may have its way

And gorge itself replete”.

But oh, the good, kind calories

That made you well and strong;

The gray oatmeal,

The curds and whey,

Which you have had so long,

May now go in the garbage-can

Along with other trash,

And you may snap your fingers

In its face and order hash.

A POST-PRANDIAL PAEAN OF PRAISE

The Proteins that were once my joy

I will refuse – they do annoy

Me so at times,

Ill have to take to Vitamins.

Alice Boughton