Camphora [Camph]
Agitation. Indescribable wretchedness.
Afraid of the mirrors, lest he should see himself in them. So excessive was this fear in the night that he would have got up and broken them, only he was still more afraid to get up alone in the dark.
Screaming “I shall not faint for if I do I will have its and never come out of them.”
“I am dead. No, I am not dead but indeed I must be dead.
” The external world existed for me no longer. My thoughts were gone. I sat up in bed, but all about me had disappeared. I was alone in a great universe, the last of all things. My ideas of the world, God, and religion now seemed to have existed only in my imagination. No feeling in my soul, but of hopeless, endless damnation believing that I was the spirit of evil in a world forsaken of God. The Infinite, like His works, had ceased to be. What soul could paint to itself my everlasting dwelling as the Evil One, alone in a vast universe without faith or hope, and my heart forever broken by unimagined tortures.”
“Horror my had no longer perceived resistance, my whole body was insensible and dry as marble. In evergrowing terror I sought to recall sensation, even pain, and tore the skin of face and hands. Since that time, I have been subject to these attacks of terror at night when alone: constrained to this agonizing self- contemplation.”
(Years ago, a patient came with just such terrible nights. She was continually taking Camphor-a doctor had told her to, for her “attacks”. Discontinued, and Phosphorus, as an antidote, put her right). (See p. 43.).
Elaps [Elaps]
Irresistible desire to scream to top of her voice (Calcarea Lilium tigr., Sepia).
Desires to be alone.
Dread of being alone.
Excessive horror of rain. (See p. 41.).
