ONE of the most difficult lessons a mother has to learn is not to fuss over her children. The smaller her family the harder it is her, and if she has just one child, the temptation to worry over him, and guard him each day from all seen and unseen dangers is often irresistible, and almost without knowing it she becomes a fusser.
Is it possible that the young mothers of to-day, so justly proud of their knowledge of infant care and hygiene, are a long way behind their grandmothers in this matter of fussing over their children? When families were large as a matter of course mothers were far too busy to fuss, and as a result young children were, I believe, much happier in mind and more adventurous in spirit.
A BAD ATMOSPHERE.
Children dislike, and are ill at ease in atmosphere overcharged with emotion and anxiety. Such an atmosphere, indeed, is definitely bad for them, for the nervous ones assimilate the mothers fears and cling to her when they should be learning self-reliance, and the bolder ones are haunted on every small adventure by the fear that mother is worrying about them. There is the danger, to, that the more enterprising ones may slip into the habit of doing things without telling their mother, “because shed only fuss”, and that is not an ideal state of affairs.
The fussy mother, besides being something of a trial to her children, makes her own life a misery and is a great nuisance to her friends, who inevitably get bored with her pre-occupation with nursery affairs.
THOSE UNREASONING FEARS.
Fussiness and the natural anxieties of motherhood are not at all the same thing, although the former grows out of the latter if the mother does not exercise some self-control in the matter. Even the most placid of mothers knows something of those sudden unreasoning fears for her children safety that spring up without warning. That she can keep such fears to herself check the impulse to fuss and worry the children openly is typical of a calmness and self-control that fussy mothers could acquire if they tried.
The unrestrained nervousness of some women makes then incorrigible fussers. What a tremendous decision it is for such mothers to all their children to go back ward and forward to school alone! It is postponed and delayed so long, until the children themselves are ashamed of having an escort when others younger than they are running along alone and managing to cross main roads soberly and carefully.
Children do love to be trusted and to do things alone, and they respond so eagerly to appeal to their sense of responsibility that mothers should do all they can to foster in then a spirit of self-reliance.
MODERN TRAFFIC.
Modern traffic is at the root of much motherly fussing, and as we think of the tragic toll of road accidents we can almost excuse caution carried to excess.
A less excusable from of fussiness, and one which every mother should try to keep in check, is the constantly expressed anxiety about the childrens health, their appetites, and their amusements. The folly of worrying about a childish illness in the presence of the child himself is surely obvious; but it is surprising how many mothers are foolish in just that way. To fuss about a childs appetite–or lack of it–is make him conscious of being an object of interest at meal times, and, being human, he does what he can to maintain the interest.
One cannot but be sorry for the child who is always being fussed over, and one understands why, so often he is either spoilt and self-important, or sulky and rebellious of the restrictions surrounding him. He is so much less happy then the fortunate child who is let alone by a calm, efficient mother who realizes the importance o providing a sane, unemotional background for his development.
The feeding of children become a problem for the over-anxious mother, and her anxiety is increased when her charges refuse their food. The fussy mother needlessly causes herself anxiety, when none need exist. The knowledge of a few fundamental facts concerning the feeding of her children would lighten her burden, as well as improve the health of her changes. These facts are simplicity itself, and are follows, provide plain wholesome food in its purest and from, such as wholemeal bread in preference to white bread, and raw or demerara sugar in preference to the devitalized white sugar.
Avoid mixtures at meals by keeping to simple meals of one or two courses. Provide three meals a day and no more, and space out these meals so that five hours elapse between meals. Train children to eat their meals without drinking at mealtimes. This will be an easy matter if the child is fed on natural foods by providing a salad meal daily, and also a fruit meal. It is especially important that all starchy foods such as bread, cereals, be eaten in as dry a condition as possible to ensure insalivation.
Mushy food cause a great deal of trouble with children, because they are never properly digested, and consequently clog the system, giving rise to all kinds of childrens ailments. A glass of milk with a meal of fruit is of value, but the encouraging of the drinking of milk between meals, or with meals, does more harms than good and is the cause of quite a lot of trouble with children. Mothers should never worry because their children are not fat. The young animals in their natural state are learn, and this applies to the human in a natural healthy condition.
Therefore children should not be encouraged to eat beyond digestive capacity. Whenever a child refuses to eat plain wholesome food properly prepared, coaxing should not be resorted to, as the missing of a meals or two will usually produce a natural appetite that requires no coaxing.
Overfeeding causes much more illness and malnutrition than underfeeding does, and children, like adults, eat too much, because they eat too often. There plain meals per day with no tit-bits between meals will suffice for any child, and if these meals are carefully chosen by including a fair proportion of vegetable and fruits both conservatively cooked and raw in the from of salads, the over-anxious mother will find a lot of her needless worry vanish.
